Category Archives: stop being an idiot

Where Stereotypes Come From

Out of respect for the sorority and educational institution these students misrepresented, I’ve intentionally removed the organizations’  names.

The following is  a letter of complaint from the venue hosting the sorority’s formal:

Immediately upon their arrival we were informed by the bus drivers that the students were acting belligerent during the ride down and demanded for them to pull over to let them urinate on the side of the road.  When the bus drivers did pull over, they were then stopped by a Butler County sheriff.

When the students arrived around 8:00pm most were already heavily intoxicated and some could barely manage to walk inside the facility. Upon arrival, a male student asked the Lake Lyndsay staff member Yvonne if she had a washer and dryer in the building because he had vomited on his shirt and pants.

A male student apparently became angry and decided to flip the entire appetizer table over. Red meatball sauce splattered all over the carpeted area, along with cheese and other foods that the students proceeded to walk through and ground into the carpet. When Yvonne and Elizabeth ran over to see what had happened, everyone in the area was laughing and would not tell them who the person was that flipped the table, only that it was “some guy.” This resulted in my cleaning crew having to rent a rug cleaner at 12:00am in order to have the carpet clean and ready for the wedding reception we had the next day.

Two male students started to remove their clothing and decided they were going to go swimming in the lake. Yvonne had to threaten to call the police before they agreed to put their clothing back on and go inside the building.

We let the students use our table decorations for free. And they repaid us by taking two of our crystal vases outside and throwing them off of the porch to shatter on the concrete patio below. We now have to inform the brides that are scheduled to use these vases later this summer, that we do not have enough for them to use now due to the fact that they do not make this particular vase any longer.

Elizabeth saw a group of male students on the side of the building laughing, and when both Yvonne and Elizabeth went back later to see what they had done, they found a pile of human feces on the side of the building. There is a huge ornamental concrete lion statue that sits at the front entrance of the building. Someone knocked this over and broke part of the mane off of the lion.

Yvonne found two students in the caterer’s closet having intercourse on top of the stacked tables. Yvonne turned the lights on and told them to “get out now.” The male student proceeded to curse at her and turn the light off. Yvonne turned the light back on and stayed there while they dressed themselves and left the closet.

I also found two students in our Beach House (another rental building on the property) having intercourse. I yelled into the building and told them to get out before I called the police. I then went over to Lake Lyndsay Lodge to tell Yvonne and Courtney. This is when I realized that Courtney was too intoxicated to talk to and there were no adult chaperones representing ______ University whom I could inform. A male and a female student missed the buses, and when we asked them where they were and why they were not able to see the buses pull in and out…they told us that they were picking up trash on the premises.

Thirty seven 30-packs of Natural Light beer was left behind in the building. We had a non-alcoholic wedding reception the next day that gained access to the building at 8:00am…so it was up to us to dispose of this large amount of alcohol.

I have had 13 calls for lost items from this event. This is the most lost item calls I have ever had at any party in twelve years.

We are appalled at the student’s behavior. My husband and I are graduates of _____ University, and we both agree that college students can drink and have a good time, but last Friday was not just a bunch of college students drinking and having a good time. It was a bunch of college students getting totally obliterated and behaving like immature children.

We are tempted to send this story to the newspapers in the surrounding areas to inform parents of future _____  University students just how sororities and fraternities really behave when they think no one school related is watching.

I seriously cannot believe what happened last Friday night. It saddens me to think that this generation of students conduct themselves in this way while in public.

I spoke to a mother of one of the girls in the sorority and told her all that had happened. Needless to say she was also disgusted and very apologetic.

They had a total lack of respect for my family’s business and for this reason among many others; no sorority or fraternity from _____ University is welcome back to Lake Lyndsay ever again. Please inform this chapter they will have to find a new venue for their formal next year.

We obviously are keeping the $500.00 security deposit that was paid for this event. We are not seeking any further payment for the damages, even though the security deposit does not cover repairs made to the building and extra cleaning fees that were incurred.

Don’t want the media to perpetuate fraternity/sorority stereotypes?  Then stop giving them the material.

Random Thoughts

If fraternities are supposed to stand for such values as honor, integrity and respect then why must every national office employ a full-time Director of Risk Reduction?

Why are marketing campaigns to eliminate hazing almost always directed at our our own members rather than the general public?  Isn’t it pathetic that we should have to convince our own members that the mission of our organization is in fact good?

The few chapters that are either too cool or too dysfunctional to attend Grand Chapter will inevitably complain the most about the new bylaws and policies they didn’t bother to vote for.

If chapters are so proud of their diversity, loosely defined, then why do pledge programs insist on making everyone the same (“our #1 goal is to mold a united pledge class”)?

If hazers are so confident that arbitrary harassment builds brotherhood then why not advertise every activity and expectation during recruitment?

And if hazers are so confident that hazing has an ounce of relevance to real life then why don’t they list “endured hazing pledgeship” on their resume?  Or do they understand that no employer would take them seriously?

Why do some chapters spend more time developing marketing campaigns to make themselves look good rather than actually being good in the first place?

Why do chapters spend so much time trying to motivate members for recruitment rather than just recruiting people who don’t need to be motivated?

If hazing is supposed to teach respect then why are the loudest proponents of hazing always the least respected members in the chapter?

The Shocking Reality of Irony

Irony can oftentimes be humorous, but in many other instances it can be disappointing or downright sad.

How would you feel if you opened up your local newspaper and read the following headline:

“Anti-hazing fraternity closed due to hazing.”

‘Living our Values’ isn’t just a catchy phrase or some arbitrary title for a LEAD session.  It’s what we’re supposed to do on a daily basis.  To live our values, we must understand them, lest we’re forced to swallow the bitter pill of irony.

Where Stereotypes Come From

Here’s the fb status of one of my acquaintances from college, *edited* out of respect for the sorority she’s misrepresenting:

I pledge allegiance to *Some Sorority*, we black out and ___ our beds, and to the Manor for which it still stands, one *Some Sorority* nation under *Sorority Founder(!)*, indivisible, with ritual and sistas for all. amen.

Darn media crafting all of those unfair stereotypes…

Where do Stereotypes Come From? Your Actions.

Hard-hitting blog post over at AFLV.  Here’s an excerpt:

Here we go again.  Another death at another fraternity house.  Another headline telling the world that what we do as members of the fraternity/sorority community is drink.  Drink a lot, in fact.  We love our alcohol so much that we watch our friends kill themselves – and many times we’ve even provided the smoking gun.

I’m tired of hearing the retort “but we do so much good!  It isn’t fair!  They only cover the bad stuff!  The press is out to get us!”  The last I checked, what they do is their job.  It’s their job to find those things that are out of sync and report them to the public.  And anytime an incident as mentioned above occurs, it is clearly out of sync with our stated values as organizations.

The media might perpetuate stereotypes, but they sure don’t create them.  We do.